What Love'll Do To You
by DopeyPixie
Summary: 'Just the thought of being with you tomorrow is enough to get me through today.' Unknown Author


''I could feel my insides sink. My knees too. So I sat on the ground, against the wall, letting it support me. I thought I knew what heartbreak felt like. I thought heartbreak was me, standing alone at the prom. That was nothing. This, this was heartbreak. The pain in your chest, the ache behind your eyes. The knowing that things will never be the same again. It's all relative, I suppose. You think you know, you think you know pain, but you don't. You don't know anything.'' Jenny Han

* * *

The days just seemed to get longer, the night seemed to get shorter. She had never needed a lot of sleep and she wasn't one to complain, but she had to admit it: being a single mother was taking its toll.

She was either at work, with her kids, or sleeping. She didn't know why she ever thought a social life, let alone a love life, would fit into that. She thought she didn't have time to date. But she did, and she was.

And even though she was exhausted 80% of the time, when she wasn't asleep, it was worth it. She was happy. She had a successful career, a beautiful home, two wonderful daughters and a loving boyfriend.

She woke up with a smile every single day, knowing that she was going to have a good day. That maybe she'd get the privilege to get even happier, because that was what it was. Not a lot of people get to do the thing they love, and share it with the people they love.

And then… it all came to a crashing end. That one phone call, that one thing she had somehow known was going to happen. It had been a gut feeling; once everything was going great something would go wrong. Something would destroy her happiness.

Everything had been great, then she was forced to retire from the military. She found a new job, was happy, and then she went through a bad divorce. She found herself a new guy, somebody who she lived, somebody who her daughters loved, somebody who love them. She was happy, and now… a car crash.

He had, head on, going 80 miles per hour, crashed right into a truck. One that had been going the complete other way, also going 80 miles per hour. The fog had made them unable to see the other one coming, even with the headlights on.

The truck driver had been unharmed, protected by the big, metal box.

But Milo… the crash had caused his car to leak fuel, one little spark… his car had exploded before he could get out. Leaving him dead, burned beyond recognition, never to be seen from again.

And that was what bugged her, not only had he, the love of her life, died, she couldn't see him one last time. She couldn't steal one last glance at his face, say goodbye, touch his hand one more time before the coffin was lowered into the ground. She couldn't… do anything.

She didn't wake up with a smile anymore and days just seemed to drag on. He had died 2 days before their 2nd anniversary. He had already made reservations at her favorite restaurant, ordered flowers to be delivered to her on their anniversary. And they had been delivered, along with a card in which he had written how much he loved her. To the moon and back…

She had to tell everybody he had died, she had to tell his parents, she had to tell her daughters…

She had to tell them that this great men, this wonderful son, the friend who always had a shoulder you could cry on for hours, the successful cardiologist… had died.

She had to tell the story for what seemed like a thousand times, until she broke down and just couldn't do it anymore. His parents had told everybody she couldn't tell. She couldn't say the words anymore, her voice refused to let her.

There was only one last person she had to tell, convince, he had really died: herself. She repeated the story in her head countless times, to convince herself it really had happened. That it wasn't just an awful nightmare she would wake up from.

It had been hard.

The funeral was, though unbelievably painful, beautiful. People paid their respects, told her how sorry they were for her and he was buried.

Then came cleaning up his house, packing everything in boxes, trying to figure out what to keep, what to give to certain friends, and what to throw away.

She had to go through every single piece with his mothers help. And that was when one of the most difficult moments had taken place: his mother was looking at some things downstairs, trying to figure out what to do with them, and Andy had been packing all the stuff from his bedroom. She had been going through all the things in his nightstand, looking at books when she found a little black, velvet box. She opened it and there was a yellow diamond engagement ring sitting in it.

She couldn't believe it, she was trying to convince herself it wasn't for her, that it was the ring he had used to propose to his ex-wife. It would only make dealing with his death more difficult if she had to deal with the fact that he had been planning on proposing to her.

But the box had been sitting on a piece of handwritten paper and it started with her name, continued by trying to describe how much he had loved her.

She had broken down in tears, had basically fallen to the floor because her legs were so weak she couldn't stand on them for another second.

And that was how his mother had found her 30 minutes later, sobbing like a little girl.

After that it had taken all her strength to continue, to get through each and every day, to not just give up. There had been times when she had felt like she could lie down and just die. That's how much it had hurt, that's what she felt was the only thing she could do.

And from time to time that's what she had wanted to do. She had wanted to die, she had wanted to stop the burning ache she felt in her heart… she had wanted everything to just end.

She had wanted there to be nothing for a change. She didn't need silence, she didn't need peace, maybe she didn't even need him.

She didn't want to have to do anything, she didn't want emotions. She just wanted everything to be pitch black around her, not having to feel a thing, listen to a thing… do a thing.

But she had her daughters to live for, if it hadn't been for them… She didn't even want to go there.

And now, right now… Four months later. She was sitting here, in that small room, her mind completely blown. As she was sitting there, looking at the three other people in the room, she was trying to process what she had just been told.

Something about Milo's death, something about autopsy and something about a terrible mistake. Too much to process. She cleared her throat, ''excuse me, what did you just say?'' was all she could get out.

''There's been a mistake, it wasn't dr. Morton who died in the car crash. We got two car accidents that day, in one them the guy died and in the other one the guy slipped into a coma and only suffered memory loss. Somehow the cases got mixed up… Dr. Morton has memory loss but he has woken up and is doing fine.'' Andy swallowed hard as the other woman did her best at trying to explain what had happened. ''We cannot describe how very sorry we are for what's happened. If there's anything we can do…'''

''Just let me see him!'' Andy interrupted with tears in her eyes.

''Of course.''

The hour after that went by in a blur, in slow motion, though later, looking back, it went by in a flash. She went with them to County Hospital where he was just sitting in one of the offices, looking completely fine. Obviously not completely understanding what had happened.

She walked in, ''hello,'' she choked out, barely able to keep her emotions under control. He looked at her and even though it seemed like a lifetime to her, it only took a matter of seconds before his eyes lit up with recognition as he studied her face.

A big smile appeared and tears welled up in his eyes. He stood up, kissed her and put his arms around her as she did the same, and as soon as she was back in his arms it felt like home. They stood there, embraced, neither one wanting to let go. ''I thought you were dead!'' She half screamed in his ear. ''There was a funeral and everything. We packed up all your stuff. Your house had been sold, they hired your replacement, '' she said as tears streamed down her face.

''They packed up all my stuff?'' He asked. She nodded while taking in his familiar scent. Not immediately realizing how this was relevant.

''So you found the ring?'' That was when it dawned on her, of course, the ring!

She took a step backwards, letting go and immediately missing him.

He looked deep into her eyes with a smile on his face, ''so, what's your answer?''


End file.
